


Sanders Sides BROTP One-Shots: EXPLAINED

by Panacea_for_broken_souls, Xephina_The_Eleven



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Other, Thomas Sanders References, sanders - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-08-14 14:15:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 20,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panacea_for_broken_souls/pseuds/Panacea_for_broken_souls, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xephina_The_Eleven/pseuds/Xephina_The_Eleven
Summary: Ever wanted to know some of my ideas, thought processes, writing and editing tips from my Sanders Sides BROTP One-Shots? NOW YOU CAN!!!





	1. Saddened Patton

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sanders Sides BROTP One-Shots](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12480292) by [Xephina_The_Eleven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xephina_The_Eleven/pseuds/Xephina_The_Eleven). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can learn more about this chapter in a video series I'm putting together on YouTube:  
> https://youtu.be/uju8o3Q_gKs

** Background: **

At the time that this story was written / uploaded, I was watching the _Sanders Sides_ videos, but hadn’t really gotten involved in the famdom. It was actually when I started going on Tumblr to find inspiration for another story I was working on at the time that I found out how docile and kind Fanders were. This partially is why I started writing _Sanders Sides_ based stories to begin with.

This also took place around the same time that the _Accepting Anxiety_ videos were released, and as many people who have read my stories have probably guessed, I am a particular fan of Virgil, the reason of which I will get into in the description of another story. Anyway, those two episodes centered around the redemption of my favorite character was what actually pushed me to begin my writing as a Fander.

 

** Inspiration: **

The inspiration for this story is a bit funny actually. As of the Accepting Anxiety videos, we got a closer look into the fact that Virgil respected Patton, and at the time, to a higher degree than the other two (obviously this has changed as the characters develop.) Back to the point, I had seen plenty of stories and art where Patton stood in Virgil’s defense, some of it was even canon, but (and I will explain this throughout my chapter explanations) I enjoy taking a concept and turning it 180 degrees. That meant rather than have Patton defend Virgil, it would be the other way around, the others weren’t listening to Patton and Virgil would have to stand up for him. (Some of this has actually happened in the canon series as of late, and I am loving it!)

Back on track, what really gave me the final push to write this particular chapter was from a clip I had seen in which Dan and Phil were sitting at a panel. During this time, Phil was being continuously talked over, so Dan being Dan reached over and took the microphone for the _other_ team and said, “Can Phil express an opinion?” I personally thought that was adorable, and it lead me to wonder, how would this situation play out is it involved the sides, so that is basically how the idea came to fruition.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _Saddened Patton_ : **

I look back on this story with some distain (though, it is far from my least favorite,) but that is mostly because, when I went back and read it again so I could write this, I realized how much my skills in writing have developed. Now, this by no means makes me a _Perfect Author_ , I am actually under the impression that whether you are just starting out, or you're at _J.K. Rowling_ or _J.R.R Tolkien_ levels of experience, there is always room to improve. (I will elaborate on this in a bit.) Anyway, having noticed how much my skill has improved since _Saddened Patton_ was written; I look back on this story with distain, for two reasons, and neither are because I necessarily dislike the story.

Reason One: I dislike this story, because it is pretty clear that I didn’t quite have the characterization of the Sides down at this point. I actually cringed while re-reading this because of how much I made both Logan and Roman out to be the villains, which was never my intent. Nowadays, I actually get a lot of comments on my stories (which I always love to read, you all are so kind) that compliment me on my capabilities with characterization. Now I have a hard time taking compliments because, I myself have depression / anxiety which constantly lead me to look down upon my creations, and that could be part of the reason I don’t like this story as much. Whatever the case may be, I feel I have improved on the characterization immensely since _Saddened Patton_ was uploaded.

Reason Two: Due to the fact that the writing is below what I would consider to be an acceptable level for me now, I dislike that it is the _first_ story that people coming into my writings will read. I don’t feel as if it really displays what I am now capable of, and I fear that it could actually turn people away because of the way I portrayed specifically Logan and Roman, but because of the writing as a whole.

Don’t get me wrong, I still think that _Saddened Patton_ is a good story; it just isn’t the one that I would like to have at the beginning of my series.

 

** Writing Tips Based On _Saddened Patton_ : **

-First and foremost, you don’t need to worry about this story (or any of my others) being taken down.

  * I always believe it is constructive to have older works to look back on. This allows you to see how far you have come and how much you have improved.



-Always double-check your writing.

  * (I will explain this one in a bit)



-I can't stress this enough, whether you are just starting out or you're at _J.K. Rowling_ or _J.R.R Tolkien_ levels of experience **KEEP WRITING!!!**

-There are always going to be people who hate on you, ignore them; however, constructive criticism is not hate.

  * Now I have some experience with this one, as I myself often try to give polite constructive criticism. This is because I started writing around the ages of 12 or 13, (Around the age that most people begin writing) and oh boy was my writing bad then. However, now I am a high-school graduate with a few college English classes under my belt and I feel as if I am in a place to where I can try to help others. I don’t harp on other writers, as I feel that that too is wrong, but if the author (myself included) can learn something, that is going to help in learning to develop your skills, I believe that to be a good thing.



- **EDIT, EDIT, EDIT!!!**

  * I know this is one that no one likes to read, but this goes for anything, if you don’t practice, or go back to look at your work, you are going to miss hundreds of mistakes. Even with editing, and now having a friend who helps me to edit, I still miss things, it’s not the end of the world, but your writing will improve greatly if you edit. (Later on down the line I will have more tips on how to make this easier…but I hadn’t figured them out by this story yet.)



 

** A Funny Story Concerning the Uploading of _Saddened Patton_ : **

            Ironically enough…I did not double check my writing before this story was uploaded a little over a year ago, and it actually didn’t come to my attention until nearly a YEAR LATER, that on all but one of the platforms I work on ( _Wattpad_ )…the story was corrupted. The last third of the story got cut out for some reason that still eludes me. It would have taken me less than fifteen minutes to notice and fix that mistake if I had just double checked…but no, I didn’t, and I can only imagine how confused my readers must have been!


	2. Chapter 3: I Will Physically Fight You!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skipped chapter two because it is a song-shot with no need of explanation.
> 
> Also it’s a pretty short story, so it has a short explanation.

** Inspiration: **

The inspiration for this story is pretty obvious, I wrote this story within 24 hours (something I would / could never do now.) After the _Fitting In_ video was uploaded, and we got Patton’s immortalized line of, _“I will physically fight you!”_ I knew I had to do a story on it, but I knew that Patton wasn’t violent, nor were any of the other Sides, so I went with a more comedic approach. That makes this (despite the ironic title) one of the few stories I have written that is pure fluff, not a drop of angst in sight!

 

** Overall Thoughts On _I Will Physically Fight You!_ : **

This story is another one that I consider to be good, but not great, and part of that is because I have next to no experience writing fluff. As many of you have probably noticed, most of my stories are…angsty to put it lightly. Overall though, I loved going back to read this story, and actually found _myself_ laughing at some of the jokes I placed within it. It is also important to note that I had a lot of fun writing this particular story because of how light-hearted it is!

 

** Writing Tips Based On _I Will Physically Fight You!_ : **

-Don’t be afraid to go out of your comfort zone!

  * Like I said before, I don’t write much fluff, so this was out of the ordinary for me, but like I said, I had fun writing it, and it is one of the stories that you guys seem to like most! (I will elaborate more on comfort zones in later chapters as well)



-Don’t be afraid of adding detail!

  * This is a pit fall I ran into A LOT when I was first starting out, honestly most of my stories looked more like scripts than fictional writings, and this is a story that I felt I really didn’t spend enough time on the details. The story feels a bit rushed, but part of that is because, I didn’t want someone coming out with a story along the same lines and then have people tell me I stole the idea…




	3. The Pain of Assignment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the chapters that I am the most excited to go into!
> 
> I assume that if you are here, you have already read the story, but if you haven’t SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!!!

 

** Inspiration: **

            Oh boy let’s go with _The Pain of Assignment_!

            This story is by far my most popular (which is why I did a rewrite; I’ll elaborate on that when I get to that chapter.) Anyway, the idea behind this story, which when put simply is: _What happens to traits when their host passes away?_ I was AMAZED no one had thought of before me. I actually _looked_ for a story with this idea, and was shocked out of my mind when I couldn’t find it so I went…I’LL WRITE IT MYSELF!!!

            Okay, enough with the caps lock…anyway; I actually came up with the idea because of a tactic I now use for most of my stories. When I come across a particularly difficult situation that I need to get through, or to help someone else through, I will write those issues into characters, and then apply their solutions to my life. (This works really well, I told it to my therapist, and they asked if they could relay it onto some of their other patients.) That being said, the inspiration for this story was a rather unfortunate event on my end.

            About a year or so before the writing and posting of _The Pain of Assignment_ I went through the heart-breaking loss of my father. Long story short, he was someone I really looked up to, and I had to watch him slowly decline over the course of a few months, and that hurt me more than I am willing to say on the internet. Back to the point, that pain and heartache was where the idea and inspiration for this story came from, and what the Sides go through is very similar to what happened to me, that is why in the story Thomas declines slowly over time.

            I also tend to project myself onto Virgil for a copious amount of reasons, and so his particular handling of the situation, from initially wanting to distance himself from all memories, to wanting to spend more time with those he still has, to, and I quote, _“resorting to something he wasn’t proud of,”_ was how I handled the passing of someone so close to me. Actually the whole concept of Elysium (which I pulled straight from Greek Mythology) or Heaven is the only way I could finally put some of my grief behind me. I’m not going to press my beliefs on to you as the reader, but I have found that believing that my father went to Heaven has helped me immensely, so that was exactly what I wanted for the Sides.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _The Pain of Assignment_ : **

_The Pain of Assignment_ is probably one of my favorite stories I have ever posted; partially because it has had so much positive feedback (you all are truly awesome!) Other reasons include the passion that went into it because of my own experiences, and I can see a clear improvement in my writing of this story. It was actually a weight off of my chest to write this story, because of how much it helped me, and I felt like through it, I was making my father proud.

 

** Details Most People Missed In _The Pain of Assignment_ : **

-Joan and Talyn Soon Join Thomas in Elysium:

  * I felt like this was an extremely important thing to add because, I don’t think Thomas could really be happy or _in Paradise_ without being with those he cares about so much!



-The Age Switch:

  * Now this is one of those places where I pulled a switch from what most people think, or what is canon. Most people know from the Vines and the Sanders Sides videos, that Patton is the eldest, followed by Logan, Roman, and then Virgil is the youngest. For this reason, early on in the story I used the quote, _“You either die a hero, or live long enough to watch yourself become the villain.”_ It explains that over time the traits grow more and more disgusted with this same process of _Assignment_ , and over time it wears at them. That is why I made _Virgil_ the eldest, followed by Logan, Roman, and then _Patton_ is the youngest.



-The Council of the Ethereal Plane:

  * I might regret saying this, but this is pulled from a much more elaborate _Alternate Universe_ idea that I am writing based on this story. It establishes that there is a government in this world, and that there are more planes than just the Astral Plane and Elysium, the others are Asphodel and Tartarus (also pulled from Greek Mythology.)



-The Symbolic Mark:

  * _“The tattoo that each of them now bore had been done in an array of colors, but was clearly the YouTube symbol with the outline structured like a molecule. Representing Thomas’s sexuality, love for chemistry, and later the talent in which he had shared on the video website.”_ Obviously I explain it in the story, but what I left out is that this is not the only mark these traits bear, they have been assigned to hosts prior to Thomas, and therefore have other marks representing them. (This is a topic I will further explain in the chapter about the rewrite.)



 

** Writing Tips Based On _The Pain of Assignment_ : **

\- Write issues you may be going through into characters, and then apply their solutions to your life.

  * This will not only help you to work through issues in real life, but it will also make for a story that you are more connected to, and because of that, it will feel more emotional for the reader.



-Writing on paper before typing! (I am so excited to finally share this!)

  * This is an editing technique I picked up by accident, but it helps SO MUCH!!! When I was writing _The Pain of Assignment_ , I was taking classes and would often want to write before they began, so I kept a notebook on me in which I wrote the story down. Then once it was finished I began typing up the story to post, and I quickly found myself editing as I typed! Now, this works because, if you just type the story and edit it in the same document or type it into another document, you are tempted to just copy and paste, and this means you aren’t focusing on the details as much. Since you are essentially rewriting the story when you go from a handwritten copy to a typed copy, you have more chances to flush out mistakes, catch inconsistencies, come up with better way to say things, better ideas overall, etc. This tactic has worked wonders for me, and I think is one of the reasons I saw improvement in my writing in this story. It is a great form of editing that really doesn’t feel like editing!




	4. Answering For Each Other

** Inspiration: **

            As far as I know, most other authors have done some sort of a switch chapter at some point, I can't tell you how many I’ve read, which actually lead to me not wanting to write this chapter at first. Still, just like with many of my other stories, I found inspiration upon deciding to twit things around.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _Answering For Each Other_ : **

_Answering For Each Other_ is another story that I think is good, but not great. It has always felt a bit rushed to me, but what I do like about it was the twist. Most people would go with the obvious Roman and Virgil would switch, and Logan and Patton would switch, but I didn’t want to do that. (This is another example of going out of your comfort zone) That being said this was the order I chose:

-Roman was Logan

-Logan was Virgil

-Virgil was Patton

-Patton was Roman

Oh boy was that hard for me to keep track of while writing this chapter…more than once I found myself writing for the wrong character(s). Either way, it was interesting trying to balance characteristics and still nail the answers they all gave.

 

** What Was the Most Fun in Writing _Answering For Each Other_ : **

            -The whole thought of having Virgil bounce around as Patton was just hilarious to me, and to be quite honest what the final thought which lead me to writing this story.

            -Logan being the one to finally break, I chose him because, I think as Logic, he would have the hardest time envisioning someone he knew to be dark and gloomy, to be dressed in light blue and hopping around like a child.

            -Coming up with ideas for how each of them would react and what they would say was intriguing, because I had to strike a balance of their general vocabulary, the vocabulary of the one they were pretending to be, how they act and how their counterpart acts…so that was interesting to say the leasr.

 

** Writing Tips Based On _Answering For Each Other_ : **

\- Don’t be afraid to try something new or “out of the box”

  * Of course you always want to try to be unique, but there are certain stereotypes or routines that you can fall into, and you should try to break those. If you go for the _different_ take on the situation, your readers are more likely to be engaged in your story, and you’ll find yourself to be more proud of it too.



-Don’t be afraid to go out of your comfort zone!

  * I talked about this in a previous chapter, but going out of your comfort zone allows you to explore new ideas, ways to characterize, and different takes on a concept you thought you already knew. I know it sound cliché, but if you don’t take any risks, you're not going to improve, so be willing to change things up from time to time.




	5. The Darkness of Deceit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This is by far my least favorite story, to the point that I couldn’t even force myself to read it for this…  
> WARNING: Bad decisions, actions, and language ahead...

** Inspiration: **

I honestly don’t remember what my inspiration for this story was other than _Can LYING Be Good_ had just been released and I felt like I needed to get a chapter out which included Deceit’s character.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _The Darkness of Deceit_ : **

I’m not going to sugar coat it…I f***ing hate this story. Of all my works this one is by far the one I am the least proud of, and I can tell you why.

-First of all I was cramped for time.

  * This was a story I wrote, edited, and posted within 6 hours…I say edited, but if I’m being honest, there’s no way I could have gotten the story out in 6 hours had I actually edited it.



-Second, I really had no inspiration for this story at all other than the obvious _Virgil knows Deceit_ thing.

-Third, I WROTE IT IN A NOTE ON MY PHONE, NOT ON MY COMPUTER BECAUSE I WAS AT A FRIEND’S HOUSE!

-Finally, I’m going to be honest, I was partially drunk when I wrote this, so I’m amazed I was even able to spell, but I will admit that other than my spelling, everything from the punctuation to the writing is just plain horrible in my eyes. I was impaired, and yet for some reason, I thought it was a good idea to write! Don’t ask me why, and also don’t take example from me, underage drinking is bad!

 

** Writing Tips Based On _The Darkness of Deceit_ : **

-First and foremost, don’t write a story when you're drunk or impaired in any other way…there’s not much else I can add to that…

  * I always believe it is constructive to have older works to look back on to see how you’ve improved…but this is just sloppy.



-Don’t write in a note on your phone.

  * The screen is too small; you are going to miss all kinds of mistakes. If you write on paper or a computer the quality of your story will improve.



- **EDIT, EDIT, EDIT!!!**

  * Don’t do what I did with this story and just write it…on a phone…while tipsy…under a time constraint…WITHOUT EDITING



 

** A Funny Story Concerning _The Darkness of Deceit_ : **

            Ironically enough…I actually asked all of you if you wanted me to take this story down when I began writing _Personal History_ , in which I rehash a lot of the points I made in this story. Despite having written this while impaired as I previously stated…literally no one wanted me to take it down. Now, I don’t know if you guys were just trying to be nice, or if you genuinely enjoyed the story, (if you did…thank you?) but I personally think this is by far the worst of my works, and I am glad to be done with this _Explained_ chapter.


	6. Harsh Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT!

** Inspiration: **

            The inspiration for this story came from a random thought that popped into my head one day… _What if Virgil had to physically strike Thomas or one of the Sides to get them out of harm’s way?_ I took the idea and ran with it…very literally considering that up to this point the only story that was longer was _The Pain of Assignment_ …and I had originally intended for this to be a very short story. Virgil was going to knock Thomas out of the way, the collapse would happen, he would apologize…and that would be it. Then I thought…hmm…but what if Virgil got caught in the collapse?! That being said, the story ended up being far longer than I had originally intended, and thus began my shtick of putting Virgil in situations where he almost dies…I didn’t realize until recently that I had turned that into a trend in my stories…oops.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _Harsh Storm_ : **

I actually really like this story; it is a good example of letting your mind run with a very brief idea. I personally felt that _Harsh Storm_ marks the upward turn for my writing, I stopped being so fearful of conflict, I had more of a chance to take leaps, and my overall skill has improved. This is also the story where I think I finally started to get the characterization down (and I will explain why I think that is in the _Writing Tips_ section.) In the end, this story (due to the fact that I took a drastic turn with it) actually ended up being one that I am rather proud of.

 

** Writing Tips Based On _Harsh Storm_ : **

\- Don’t be afraid of taking a small idea and just running with it

  * This is similar to going out of your comfort zone that I have mentioned in the past, but in this case, as I said, the original idea was one line. The only thing I had in my head when I began work on _Harsh Storm_ was the scene where Virgil strikes Thomas, but as I went it blossomed into something much bigger than that. When it comes to a small idea, it can always develop into something much larger if you allow your mind to expand on it while you work



 

-Strenuous / Life or Death Situations

  * This is something I discovered long ago in writing a completely different story, but what I realized is that when a character / characters are put under immense pressure, you have a lot more creative freedom. When anyone is put into a strenuous / life or death situation where anger, grief, fear, confusion, etc. is their drive it opens new doors. People react differently under pressure than they would at any other time, which allows for character development in a very short time frame, and to see emotions or reactions that you would otherwise not have.




	7. Color Coating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was something I felt couldn't fit into a normal Explained Chapter, so here you go!  
> This took forever to make...

I have found in writing Sanders Sides fics, that I will end up using the same word over and over in just a few paragraphs. Some examples of these are:

-Side

-Trait

-Aspect

-Prince / Princey

-Virgil (Anxiety)

\- Logan (Logic)

\- Patton (Morality

\- Roman (Creativity)

\- Deceit

Etc.

Anyway, I have found a solution that might just help you guys, so if you write Sanders Sides storied, then this post is for you! (These tips work in other fandoms, you just won’t have my key)

 **First -**   **Make yourself some lists of descriptors for the Sides such as:**

** Thomas: **

  * YouTuber
  * Host
  * Online personality



 

** Virgil: **

  * Anxiety
  * Darker
  * Gloomier
  * Dressed in black and purple
  * Youngest
  * Anxious
  * Negative
  * Observant
  * Darkly-dressed
  * Virge
  * Fight-or-Flight Reflex
  * Hot Topic



 

** Logan: **

  * Logic
  * Teacher
  * Factual
  * Analytical
  * Academic
  * Intellectual
  * Logical
  * Rational
  * Scholar
  * Second-eldest



 

** Patton: **

  * Morality
  * Moral
  * Ethical
  * Father
  * Fatherly
  * Eldest
  * Lighter
  * Paternal
  * Cheerful
  * Kind
  * Happiness



 

** Roman: **

  * Sir-Sing-A-Lot
  * Creative
  * Imaginative
  * Whimsical
  * Visionary
  * Prince
  * Princey
  * The Prince
  * Fantasy
  * Fanciful



****  
  
  
  


** Deceit: **

  * Liar
  * Lying
  * Untrustworthy
  * Malicious
  * Snake-like
  * Dishonest
  * Dastardly
  * Duplicitous
  * Devious
  * Deceptive
  * Treacherous



**Descriptors:**

  * Mains
  * Sides
  * Traits
  * Aspect
  * Facet
  * Emotions
  * Counterparts
  * Figure
  * Persona
  * Character
  * Colleague
  * Ideal
  * Embodiment
  * Personification
  * Figment
  * Attribute
  * Characteristic
  * Son
  * Friend
  * Archetype
  * Companion
  * Manifestation
  * Component



**This will help you to keep your stories neat and organized, and keep you from being annoyed from using the same word over and over!**

To see this with color please visit one of the following links!

**Tumblr:**

https://virgil-the-dark-strange-son.tumblr.com/post/172266404649/sanders-sides-fan-fic-writing-tips

**Wattpad:**

https://www.wattpad.com/650957449-sanders-sides-brotp-one-shots-explained-color


	8. Waking Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT

** Inspiration: **

_Waking Nightmares_ is a story that actually had multiple thoughts which eventually became the chapter I posted. Of all my stories, _Waking Nightmares_ probably comes in second or third place for the sheer number of rewrites I had to do before I was pleased with the result.

Back on topic, just before this story was written I was getting comments on most of my platforms requesting a Logan-centric chapter, but for the longest time, I didn’t know what I wanted for him as a character within my stories. Now, that’s not to say I don’t like Logan, he’s actually my second favorite only bested by Virgil. Whatever the case may be, Logan was the one that I had the hardest time deciding on a story arch for, simply because of his hatred of emotion, which poses a problem since I am mostly an angst writer.

Then, much like _The Pain of Assignment_ , I decided to write my own issues into the story. In the first draft of this story however, Virgil was going to be the one struggling with the nightmares. Over time though, more and more people began asking for a Logan story, and I actually found that with the topic of the nightmares as apparitions, made more since if Logan was the focal character, because he would be the most likely to overwork himself. This opened up more doors for allowing him to be more vulnerable, which meant he would be more likely to show, or at least admit to having emotions, worries, or issues within himself beyond just overworking.

 Now, I myself struggle with waking nightmares, and more often than not they consist of dark, looming figures in the room trying to get at me, so that is where the design for the phantoms came from. Logan however sees them as the other Sides, and that I feel fits in well with the insecurities he has about being different from the others, that he wouldn’t normally voice. So that’s how the ideas behind _Waking Nightmares_ came to fruition.

Funny tidbit, I almost always have an idea for the chapter name prior to having the first draft of the story finished, but in this case, I actually changed it at the last minute to _Waking Nightmares_. The original title was going to be either _Overworked_ or _Overworking_ but as I got further and further into the writing and editing processes, I decided they no longer fit as well as I had originally thought.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _Waking Nightmares_ : **

This was a story that I had a difficult time writing due to the issues it dealt with hitting so close to home for me, but in the end I did find myself appreciating it. One thing that I found is I LOVE writing for Logan, I spend a lot of time on Thesaurus.com when working on his point of view just because I want to use larger words and more intelligent lingo similar to the way he would when I write for Logan. I really did like the way this story turned out, but I will go into more detail as to why that is in a later section!

 

** A Little Insight on _Waking Nightmares_ : **

            I had to be careful with this particular chapter because, I knew I wanted things to be said that would be regretted later, and things that were hurtful, but wouldn’t have been said in any other situation. That being the case, I had to make sure that what I said was impactful, but it was something that didn’t go too far, something that the Sides, Thomas, and you as the reader could forgive him for once the true villain of the story was revealed.

            Another thing that I feel needs to be addressed is that _Waking Nightmares_ ended differently than most of my other stories. There was no apology or discussion (specifically with Virgil) that allowed for everything to be wrapped up in a nice little bow at the end. I did actually receive a little bit of backlash for this choice, but I made that choice for a couple of reasons.

            Reason One: This one is probably the most obvious, I had another story in the works at the time that worked well as sort of an apology / wrap up to _Waking Nightmares_ , and that story was the next chapter: _Telescopes_ , which I will get to in the next _Explained_ chapter.

            Reason Two: I feel like with Logan’s pride, and not wanting to admit to emotion that he would have a difficult time approaching the others and apologizing, or admitting that it was his mistake that lead to the issue. This is also something I bring up in a later chapter and will elaborate when I get there.

 

** Special Shout-out: **

            Now I cannot go any further without acknowledging someone who has been instrumental in helping me with these stories. Essentially, if I was Thomas, they would be Joan. My friend Jay, whose username on _AO3_ : panacea_for_broken_souls, and on _Tumblr_ : @jay-wants-to-be-a-paladin. They help me edit all of my stories now, but this was really the first story where they were more involved than just fixing punctuation and spelling errors. Just as I tend to act more like Virgil, they tend to act more like Logan, and they helped me immensely in getting his characterization right for _Waking Nightmares_. I can't thank them enough for all the work they do for these stories, and how much stuff they put up with from me during the writing and editing processes.

            That being said, it is extremely important for me to give credit where credit is due and make sure that all of you know that these stories would be nowhere near as polished as they are if it weren’t for Jay’s contributions!

 

** Writing Tips Based On _Waking Nightmares_ : **

-Different writing styles between points of view.

  * Now, this one can be rather difficult to do, and I don’t suggest working with this until you have a few stories under your belt. Either way, if you are going between the points of view of multiple characters, there are other ways to distinguish that than just using dialogue, thoughts, or just blatantly stating it.



For example, as I said earlier, when writing for Logan I like to use larger words and more complex ways of saying things when I describe the setting.

For Roman, I use words that are more likely to appear in fairytale type writings.

For Virgil, I spend more time describing settings because he is more likely to notice small details.

This is a particularly difficult skill to pick up on, but if you think you are ready to try it, you will find that your story is more stylized to the characters, and draws your readers in more.

-How far is too far.

  * One thing I ran into with this story was that I needed to come up with different types of insults and generally hurtful comments. In this case you need to know the characters and your readership, because you don’t want either one holding a grudge after the resolution. The best thing I can say for this one is if you think it is going to cause repercussions, it probably will.




	9. Telescopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT

** A Little Background: **

I am currently in college studying science for my Major in Astronomy and Astrophysics to hopefully peruse a career with the _National Aeronautics and Space Administration_ , or as it is more commonly know… _NASA_. That being said, I have been asked if I did a lot of research for this chapter of if I already knew the information, the truth is I’m just a massive nerd who loves space. It also might be interesting for you all to know that the telescope Virgil owns ( _Celestron 80EQ PowerSeeker_ ) just so happens to be the same telescope that I own! Also, the _Astronomy Magazine_ that is referenced in the story is a real thing…I have been getting their monthly issues for the last 5-6 years.

 

** Inspiration: **

The inspiration for this story is actually pretty interesting, I had seen a list of romantic / platonic _Analogical_ fic ideas on Tumblr, and one of them said, _Logan teaching Virgil how to use a telescope._ That sparked my imagination, and in my way of turning things on themselves, I thought, but what if Virgil taught _Logan_ how to use a telescope instead?!

That is where the inspiration for _Telescopes_ came from, and knowing that things had been left unconcluded between Logan and Virgil in the chapter prior ( _Waking Nightmares_ ) I decided that astronomy could be the topic that could help them rebuild any fractured relations.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _Telescopes_ : **

Writing _Telescopes_ was a lot of fun, mostly because I got to be a complete nerd and finally write a story based around my course of study. That being said, I had to find a balance between all the technical lingo verses most people’s general knowledge when it comes to space. I also had to factor in the personalities of the two characters in a situation that would normally be reversed.

In the end however, I really ended up liking the story, and I might be biased because it consists of my two favorite characters and my passion for science, but overall I thought it turned out really well.

 

** Writing Tips Based On _Telescopes_ : **

-Technical Lingo / Teaching

  * I think it is good to introduce readers to a topic or specific parts of a topic that they may not know about, but you have to be careful about how this is carried out. Too much lingo in any story is going to either lose your reader’s interest or pander to a very small audience, therefore losing overall readership. Try to only introduce a few new terms, and be sure to have them explained, but make sure you aren’t necessarily trying to _dumb down_ the story.



This is actually an issue I have watched a lot of people run into when writing (myself included in the earlier years), readers are much more intelligent than most other presume. I despise reading a story where it is painfully obvious that someone is over explaining a topic, and though it is not their intention, it just comes across to me as an assumption of ignorance.

Overall, be willing to put in new terms and topics, explain them briefly, and then get one with the story. If a read doesn’t quite understand and wants to know more, then they are perfectly capable of researching the topic themselves.

-Platonic verses Romantic

  * This is a topic that I have had little issue with, especially in the Sanders Sides fandom where pretty much everyone tries to be accepting, but I try to make my writing tips applicable to any story. Back on topic, I personally don’t ship any of the Sides, but I don’t believe that anyone else is wrong for shipping them. I have read many a fic that involves one or more ships, and to be honest I really enjoyed them. What I want to bring up is that in a platonic setting, it is okay to have certain situations that could be interpreted as romantic. Creative interpretation is entirely up to the reader, and if they want to see a story or situation as romantic, there is nothing wrong with that. Many platonic relationships can result in situations where others may think that the ones involved are acting romantic even if that isn’t the case. That being said, if you are writing a story concerning a platonic relationship, don’t let the possibility of someone interpreting your writing as romantic stop you from a good idea.




	10. The Imposter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT!

** A Little Background: **

After I let myself down with _The Darkness of Deceit_ , I felt that you all deserved a story that involved Deceit, and I finally felt as if I was in a position to write it. That being said, let’s get into this _Explained_ chapter.

 

** Inspiration: **

Where the idea for this story came from was MY ABSOLUTE BURNING HATRED FOR MY PREVIOUS STORY INVOLVING DECEIT! Okay, being more fair to myself, I actually had a thought, what if Deceit were now angry with Virgil for being the one to catch on and expose him. I also wondered what it would be like if Deceit tried to imitate Virgil. That being the case, I know most people are on board with the idea that the two have some sort of history with one another, so I decided to try and elaborate on that somewhat as well.

The true back story between the two of them was explained in a later chapter, so I instead focused on Deceit wanting to take control away from the current four Sides, and this time around, instead of Patton, Virgil would be the puppet.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _The Imposter_ : **

_The Imposter_ is probably in third or fourth place if I were to rank which of my stories I like best, I actually really liked the way the situation played out and the characterization, which I will get to momentarily. One thing that I found to be quite difficult was the reactions of the others when they found that _Virgil_ was acting like he did prior to his redemption arch, which is similar to the _How far is too far_ point that I made in a previous chapter. Trying to balance the anger and betrayal the others would feel with their character development over time was a feat for sure.

Now, onto the characterization, which is probably the thing I am most proud of in _The Imposter_. You all seemed to take really well to this, and I absolutely LOVED writing angry / protective Virgil. It was so fun being able to write him in a position where he was completely done with someone else’s s***, and he quite simply wasn’t going to put up with it any longer. However, as I was writing, I thought about the term that I uses as a descriptor for Virgil quite frequently: _Fight-or-Flight Reflex_. When it comes down to the wire, if his family was in real trouble, I feel like Virgil would have absolutely no problem what so ever in punching the living daylights out of whoever deserved it. Don’t believe me, just go back to the video where Deceit is introduced, and look at Virgil’s expression when Deceit is first revealed.

Now that leads me to Deceit’s characterization, and seeing as he hasn’t had much screen time, it was really left up to my own creative interpretation. That being said, and knowing that Thomas is a _Disney_ fan, I decided to have similarities between Deceit, and who I consider to be the most malicious and cunning villain to ever come from an animated _Disney_ movie… _Scar_! There are even lines that Deceit says in the story itself which allude to this, for example…

Deceit’s Line: _“ah, Virgil…how wonderful it is to see you.”_

Scar’s Line: _“Simba, oh…I’m a little surprised to see you.”_

 

Deceit’s Line: _“Ooo, I quiver with fear!”_

Scar’s Line: _“Ooo, I quiver with fear!”_

 

Yeah, I literally used the exact same line for that one…but it seemed to fit.

 

** Writing Tips Based On _The Imposter_ : **

-Creative interpretation in characterization.

  * No matter how much development or screen time a character has, an author always has some creative interpretation, because there is no feasible way for the source material to cover ever possible scenario. That means you should feel comfortable with your abilities and take the source material that you can apply and run with it. Don’t be afraid to push characters to their limits, it gives you more opportunity to show off both their strengths and weaknesses, as well as ways that they can react to an unknown situation or one another.



Also it is okay to use ideas from other works (For example how Deceit was similar to Scar) just don’t plagiarize or make a carbon copy of the same character.

-Dominance and Power-Plays.

  * This isn’t a writing tip I ever thought I would cover in this specific series, but here goes nothing. In any situation you are going to have someone who seeks power whether they have malicious intent or not.



The ones who are malicious are going to use power-plays, a way to try and take the control / power away from others, and in many cases they will stop for nothing to get it. That brings the quote, _“absolute power corrupts absolutely,”_ to mind. Using this complex of dominance and power-plays with a character who seeking out power at the cost of someone else makes for a good villainous trait. It also brings out the strengths and weaknesses I talked about earlier.

Those who stumble into power, or are natural leaders (in the case of _The Imposter_ , that character is Virgil) they are more than likely not going to use power-plays. They are more likely to stay calm yet commanding until they or someone / something they care about is threatened, and in that case they will display that they are the one with the power. Once the situation is over however, they will back down again. They only display their power when they have to, reminding me of _Dumbledore’s_ quote from _The Sorcerer’s Stone_ :

 _“Only a person who wanted to find the stone…find it but not use it…would be able to get it.”_ Only a character who has power, but doesn’t abuse it will really be a natural leader.


	11. Chapters 11-19: Sleep-Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP! WE ARE DOING THIS! MY LONGEST STORY TO DATE! GET READY TO LEARN Y’ALL!!! SPOILER ALERT…OBVIOUSLY!!!

** A Little Background: **

            This is a point that will be elaborated on extensively later…but, I almost drove myself into insanity writing _Sleep-Walking_ , and I wish I could say that was an understatement. This story is so long, underwent so many rewrites, edits, and decisions…the majority of which was done in ONE MONTH! That being said, I will get into the details of what I think of the story, and what the writing / editing processes did to me, and my friend Jay (who I mentioned previously) as we go.

            Other than that, let’s start with the original decision I gave to you guys. I asked across all of my platforms, if you wanted _Sleep-Walking_ to be uploaded as a single story or in chapters, and you all chose chapters. (This is actually a decision I was glad about.) That being said the story itself was originally written, and meant to be read as a singular, stand-alone story…which has been uploaded as such in a separate book on my page! (Shameless promotion!)

As you have more than likely already guessed, _Sleep-Walking_ is the story that, (to the present day) underwent the highest number of rewrites. The original draft of this story, (which was only the first half) was started around the same time as _Saddened Patton_.  Now, here is where things start to become tricky: so, I will begin with this. It is important to note, that since _Sleep-Walking_ got its start so early, it actually takes place much earlier in the timeline than a lot of my other stories…let me explain.

  * _I Will Physically Fight You_ was obviously written closely following the upload of the _Fitting In_
  * _Saddened Patton_ on the other hand took place between _Accepting Anxiety_ and _Fitting In_ , which means that _Sleep-Walking_ does as well.



That being said, since it is fitted so weirdly into the timeline, that is where Virgil’s motivation comes from, and why he still felt so out of place at the beginning of the story itself. Now, to make that fit in better with the timeline, I carry that same motivation forward in some of the stories posted after _Sleep-Walking_.

  * It is also important to note that later edits, many things were added in to update the story so-to-speak.



 

** Inspiration: **

            Holy…where to begin? The explanation for the inspiration of _Sleep-Walking_ is hard to single out, seeing as it developed over time. I wanted Virgil to have more than just his redemption, but I also wanted to explore sides to these characters (no pun intended) that I had not seen anyone else work with, nor had I explored myself. In a previous chapter I talked about strenuous situations being used to further explore character development, and that was really what I wanted here. And for the _First Draft_ , that was really all I had…but that leads me to the extremely lengthy explanation for the _Final Draft_. (I want to clarify, that by _Final Draft_ , I mean the ideas which were put into the version of the story which would eventually be posted.)

Back on topic; after a year of thinking that this story would never see the light of day, I decided to pick it up again. (Oh boy does that lead into some horror stories later…) Anyway, I still wanted to include everything from the _First Draft_ , but now having a better handle on the characters, I realized that Virgil would not just be content pointing out the fears that the others had, actually he would more than likely assume the others would think down of him if he were to do that. That is where the inspiration for the latter half of _Sleep-Walking_ comes from.

            When I come right out and say this, it may be a tad shocking…until I was well into writing the _Final Draft_ (we are talking , I was nearly ready to upload the story) I realized that I wanted Virgil to act as a counselor figure. Having gone through many years of and still being in counseling was where the idea came from to end up using those techniques. (I will explain more on this later.) You need to know this however, in the writing process as a whole (which I will sort of create a timeline later) you will come to realize how last minute those additions were.

IN THE ORIGINAL VERSIONS HOWEVER, I WAS NEVER GOING TO WRITE ANY OF THE COUNSELING SESSIONS! NONE OF THE THERAPY, GROUNDING AND BREATHING TECHNIQUES, NOTHING!!!

           

 

** Writing Process (For the First-Draft): **

The beginning of the story was really based around the sole fact that I wanted more about the Sides’ relations than just what had been given to us during Virgil’s redemption arch. (As I stated before, _Fitting In_ and any of the videos beyond that had not yet been posted.) Now I wanted Virgil to make a clear effort of trying and contribute to the group, and that’s when he discovers that the others have these subconscious fears.

Ironically, just like Virgil states in the story, I originally wanted to give each of them one fear, but upon looking for the names of said fears…try as I might, I couldn’t find them. (This would be the first of many bumps in the road to _Sleep-Walking_ ’s completion; so, here is a tidbit no one asked for; there is a word for the fear of food; _Cibophobia,_ literally something we need to survive, but there is no word for the fear of being worthless. Trust me, I looked for hours.) All jokes aside, much like Virgil, I found myself compiling lists which when put together would make up the singular fear I had intended upon. Finally after that hiccup, I was back on track…or so I thought.

I knew even way back when the _First Draft_ was written I wanted Virgil to be very detail oriented, and capable of picking up on the smallest of things which the others would normally miss…which would lead to so many issues later on, but I didn’t know that then. That’s why he first hears the footsteps, his wariness is the reason he didn’t pursue them before. Once he knows what he wants to do to help the others however, there is no stopping him. He becomes so focused on his work, certain that his is how he will get into the other’s good graces.

 

 

** Writing Process (For the Final Draft): **

Many of the topics I covered in the _First Draft_ obviously still played a role, but working on the _Final Draft_ is where many of my personal issues begin.

Upon going back to work on this story after letting it just sit on the back-burner for a year, I thought I would just pick up where I left off…but no, just no. I quickly realized that the writing was drastically different betweenthe _First Draft_ , (which if you recall was written around the same time as _Saddened Patton_ ) and what you all know to be _Sleep-Walking_. (Don’t believe me, try reading the two back-to-back.) I had come so far, and learned so much while working on the stories in between that I soon came to the realization that the writing in what would later be the first half (at the time it was the first third) was simply not up to par with my current works. I was heart-broken, and almost put the story down there, but I decided on another option, which turned out great for everyone involved…but me.

I elected to trash the first third of the story, and start over from scratch, hardly even using the original as reference. In the end _Sleep-Walking_ ’s overall quality improved by ten-fold or more, and I am proud of what it became, but it was not worth the stress and hell I put myself through trying to get it finished. Now, at this point I feel it is important for me to note that I hadn’t even alluded to my readers yet (on any platform) that I was working on _Sleep-Walking_ …as far as you all knew, I was just working on my next run-of-the-mill story. My point is, I had no deadline or expectations to meet, and yet I ran myself into the ground trying to get it done. (This will be elaborated on this later.) I wish I could give you all examples of the _First Draft_ , but sadly, despite looking through every document and notebook I have, I simply couldn’t find any of them. I honestly think they got tossed in a major clean-up of my room, which depresses me.

 

** My Thought Processes While Writing the Final Draft of _Sleep-Walking_ : **

Important things to keep in mind while reading this section:

  * MOST IMPORTANT: DO NOT DO WHAT I DID!!!
  * _Sleep-Walking_ as a stand-alone story is 31,696 words long. (47 pages, single-spaced in Microsoft Word.)
  * I wrote _Sleep-Walking_ …in a month



So let me preface with this: yes, I realize that even starting from scratch, that would average out at a little over a page a day to write….HOWEVER, that does not include editing, rewriting, double-checking, or really any of the other writing tips I have given in this series. That being said, in the month, I not only wrote the 47 page story…but I also followed all of my own tips. Had it not been for Jay going though the story, and being there as my friend to remind me to do things I needed to do to survive, I’m not sure where I would be right now…

Let’s go back to the beginning, everything started innocently enough with me just writing the story like I would any other, but things began to devolve rapidly. Once I began the rewrite…I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop myself. Every waking hour (and this in no exaggeration) was spent in one of two ways, writing _Sleep-Walking_ or feeling lazy because I wasn’t writing, and the latter was few and far between. For whatever reason, I could not force myself to focus on anything outside of writing, no matter what I was doing, I felt like I needed to be writing. I lost count of the number of all-nighters I pulled, how many times I found myself realizing I hadn’t had anything to drink in four hours, or anything to eat in over a day, and for what reason? I hadn’t given myself a deadline, there was no one pressing me to get this story done, quite the opposite in fact. My mother, and Jay (who lives with me) were trying to get me to see reason, get me to take breaks, and for whatever reason…and I can't give you a solid reason, I just didn’t listen.

I slaved over _Sleep-Walking_ , I became obsessed with every little detail; making sure that every conflict was resolved, every technique given was valid, every counseling session written to fit the characters perfectly. There were many days that I could easily spend upwards of three to four hours hyper-focusing on a few paragraphs, denying myself the necessities to survive until I had perfected it. I began taking my own writing-tips to extremes, over color coating, checking the same sentence ten times, adding more and more detail, killing forests with the paper I used to write it out in a notebook first.

Then I would send it in parts to Jay, who would send it back fully edited, but I would find some flaw and rewrite again, and again, and again. I probably rewrote the first paragraph of _Sleep-Walking_ at least once a day…AT LEAST! It got so bad that I can't remember anything about what I consider to be the rough drafts! I honestly felt bad for Jay, seeing as they had to go back and edit…every…single…time I did this.

My daily schedule went out the window, I stopped running for exercise some nights, and I have been running for upwards of seven years. I already eat very little from a physical issue I have, but my eating became nonexistent, to put this into perspective, I am 5’9” tall, and I dropped to below 100 pounds, that is dangerously thin for someone of my height! I stopped talking to the few friends I have, one of which had just been discharged from the mental hospital after being there for nearly a month!

 _Sleep-Walking_ ’s perfection became my only goal, regularly I would get up at noon or one in the afternoon, and write until four-thirty in the morning on days where I actually slept. This is extremely detrimental to me because I have insomnia, and throwing off my schedule only makes that worse. My depression got severe, I would forget to take my medications, and my anxiety went through the roof! I clearly remember that in the last stages of editing, I found myself physically shaking if I wasn’t working, or if I was waiting on Jay to send the story back with their edits.

In the end I let it take over my life, but the story doesn’t end with me finally completing the _Sleep-Walking_. Everyone has read a book or watched a movie series that when you finish you suddenly look up and think, _what the heck do I do with my life now that this is over?_ That was the final straw, once I was done writing, I had separated the story into parts, and posted, all that was left, was for me to pick up the pieces of what I had become. I was a shell of a person, uncertain of what to do, lost in the blackness of this situation that I had created, and the only person to blame was myself. I was Logan in _Waking Nightmares_ after I finally completed _Sleep-Walking_ , tired, overworked, scared, depressed, and all but alone. Thankfully my friends stayed by my side afterwards, and I hate to think what would have happened if they hadn’t.

Now, after all of that…this is in my opinion the worst thing that came out of my obsession over _Sleep-Walking_.

I as a person who loves to write, who uses writing as a coping mechanism, and has been writing for upwards of eight years…almost put my pen down for good. I remember trying to write something new after _Sleep-Walking_ , and just hating the idea of anything pertaining to writing. (I am in tears even recalling this, because of how close I was to giving up.) I was burnt out, and that is why it took so long to get the next story out despite it being so short.

I thank any power that may be that I was able to rekindle my passion for writing, and am now working on an original story as well. Still, it pains me to know just how bad things got, and that is the reason I wanted to start this series in the first place. I wanted to finally show you all just what overworking and obsessing can do to a person, and this lesson goes far beyond just writing. This can apply to school, work, relationships, anything really, if you focus solely on that and forget to live…it can destroy you mentally and physically. It took me more time to recover from this whole ordeal than it did to actually write the story itself.

 

** An Interlude from Jay and What They Witnessed During the Writing of _Sleep-Walking_ : **

Wow…I’m writing instead of editing…weird. Hello readers, I’m Jay, better known as the person who helps edit Xephina’s amazing stories.

Xephina likes giving me credit where credit is due, and for that I’m thankful, but really—these are her stories. She has an amazing creative talent that I help polish. I edit the final drafts and will provide my own ideas when she needs some help with writing a Side she’s not similar to (I am as similar to Logan as she is to Virgil, so anything relating to Logan—even Roman at times—can be attributed to my own personality and various -isms). Xephina asked me to tell y’all my side of the story about how absolutely mind-boggling it was to watch my best friend write this monster of a fic, and I’m super excited to share how things went down from an outside perspective, as well as eventually let y’all read about just how in the heck I help edit and what exactly that even entails.

Xephina loves writing with every fiber of her being but watching her write this story really showed me just how obsessive that love for writing became. I’ve known for as long as I’ve helped her edit that she works through her issues through her stories, and I’ve supported her in doing so…but this time the writing process took her down such a rabbit hole I had a hard time not just shaking her and yelling, “Take a break!”.

At first, I was entranced by the idea of _Sleep-Walking_ just as she was; the idea wasamazing, and I was fully on board with helping her refine her ideas for the story, but it got to the point (fairly quickly) where writing _Sleep-Walking_ was the _only_ thing on her mind. Getting the ideas out of her head and onto notebook paper, then into a word document, then making many edits and rewrites overshadowed daily life to a point that she really hurt her mental and physical health. As you all have read in the previous section, she wrote every single day. This is not healthy at all! At first, I was glad she had something to focus on other than her own emotional issues, but I started to realize that this story was becoming an addiction of sorts. What I mean is that she hyper-focused on writing this story, for about a month. A month of writing, non-stop, every day. I’m restating things Xephina has already said but damn was this hard to see from an outside perspective. Working yourself to death is a real thing and were it not for myself and her mother, I shudder at the thought of what could have happened to my best friend.

Nearly every day I would come into Xephina’s room and check on her, asking how the story was going and how she was doing. We would talk for half an hour or so and as the month passed, I noticed her getting more and more…distracted during our conversations. She is consistently a ball of nervous energy, but this was a new extreme. Foot tapping, constant looking back at her computer where her word document sat open, pens and notebook paper strewn about everywhere as she wrote new ideas are just a few mental images I can provide you with. Focusing on something for a few hours, or even an entire day, can be extremely helpful when you have a fresh idea and want to get your thoughts down without losing creative juices, but focusing for an entire month is just too far and too much for one person to go through.

When I would hang out with Xephina every day, I made sure to check if she had eaten or drank anything. I tried to encourage her to get out of her room (or her cave as we like to call it), and possibly go somewhere with me to get her head out of her notebook. Usually she would notice if I asked her to hang out that I potentially needed her for emotional support, or she could infer that if I wanted to go somewhere else to hang out that I was feeling particularly upset or stuck in my own head. We are both introverts so going out isn’t really our thing…but during this month it was like talking to a clone of Xephina whose only purpose was to write _Sleep-walking_. Here’s an analogy any _Voltron: Legendary Defender_ fans are sure to get—the way Honerva got with quintessence, how it eventually became all she thought about until she went mad and turned into Haggar? That was Xephina with _Sleep-Walking._

Moral of this little story? If you’re writing something, or watching a friend write something (like me), and you notice them _only_ focusing on writing until it reaches unhealthy levels of obsession, please try to bring it up with your friend (or talk to yourself—promise it’s not going to make you seem crazy) and snap out of it before burn out happens! Xephina nearly gave up on writing because of how much this story took out of her; don’t let yourself or your friend fall into the same pattern.

That’s that on that, but stay tuned for another little interlude from me; I’m going to share some editing tips for any author, co-author, editor, etc.

 

** Overall Thoughts on _Sleep-Walking_ from Xephina: **

This is by far my proudest work, I love the story, the characters, and how many of you I was able to help though it! Still, I am finally in a place in which I can admit to all of you, and myself, that it wasn’t worth the mental and physical health that I sacrificed for this story. While being what I consider to be a brilliant piece of literature, I forgot one major thing…I didn’t even take my own advice. Everything Virgil did in teaching the other Sides how to handle their fears, and how to move on…I disregarded while writing just that. In the end I loved the story, but not the hell I put myself through to write it.

 

** Writing Tips from Xephina: **

-PLEASE DO NOT DO WHAT I DID!

  * I think I have elaborated on this enough, but please, I’m begging you, don’t sacrifice your mental and physical heath for a story, it’s not worth it.



-Take your time / Don’t set pre-determined post dates.

  * Never tell your readership that you are going to have a chapter out by a certain time, don’t do that to yourself. This is something you are doing because you enjoy it, so don’t risk making yourself hate it because you feel like you have to meet a deadline.



-Get an outside opinion to your writing / writing habits.

  * I wish more than anything that I had listened to Jay and my mother; I wish I hadn’t put myself into a depression over something so simple. It all could have been avoided if I had just listened to them; so, if you think that your habits are bordering on toxic, try explaining them to someone else. See their reaction and have them give you feedback, and if things need to change, please take the steps to change them.



 

** Editorial Tips from Jay: **

When I edit stories, I typically go through 3 different kinds of editing: grammar, punctuation, and clarity. I don’t do all three kinds at once, rather, I read whatever I’m going to be editing, then do one kind of edit at a time as I read it again. By no means do I claim to be omniscient about the ins and outs of how to edit, this is just what I do when Xephina asks me to look over/edit her stories before publishing it out to you lovely readers.

  * For grammar, using the correct verb-tense (past, present, future), number (singular vs plural), not overusing pronouns (he/him/his, she/her/hers, etc.), and noticing sentence length (is it too short? Too long?) are major overall factors I look at. 
    * A verb-tense example could be accidentally using present tense in one or two sentences, when the overall story is told in past tense.For example, “He **snapped** his head up…” vs “He **snaps** his head up…”. I don’t mean only use present tense, or only use past tense in a story—just choose a verb tense and _stay consistent throughout the story with that tense_.
    * Using a plural verb conjugation when the subject of the sentence is singular (or vice versa) is an easy mistake to make, particularly if a sentence is very long and has lots of details. Don’t be scared off by the word conjugation—promise it’s not as scary as it seems. Here are a few simple examples that illustrate what I mean: “ **Jack go** to the park” vs “ **Jack goes** to the park”; “ **They runs** away” vs “ **They run** away”. This may seem like a no-brainer once you’ve read the examples but keep a look out for this mistake! If a sentence has a lot of adjectives, uses plenty of adverbs, or is just a longer sentence, it can be easy to forget which number (singular or plural) the subject of the sentence is. _The subject of a sentence and the verb must agree in number_.
    * A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence that might lack something major like a subject or a verb. This is what I mean by a sentence being too short. This sentence is missing a subject: “ **ran to the door** ” _who_ ran to the door? We (the readers) don’t know because there’s not a subject for the verb to apply to. “ **Roman ran to the door** ” is a complete sentence, and the reader will no longer be confused about who the heck is doing the action in a sentence.
    * This is a super long sentence that just seems to go on, and on, and on, with no clear end in sight, and excessive use of commas to connect…maybe a few ellipses to spice things up… (Rephrasing a sentence is usually what it takes to correct this)
  * For punctuation I check commas, semicolons, ellipses, dashes, apostrophes, etc. 
    * One can use not enough commas when writing and it can confuse the reader about where a pause in a sentence should be or where a new topic is being introduced. (One can not use enough commas when writing **,** and it can confuse the reader about where a pause in a sentence should be **,** or where a new topic is being introduced.) If something is being interjected into a sentence, like this, commas need to be placed around whatever is being interjected. Another problem is using too many commas, and this can lead to sentences being far too long, with awkward pauses, it can be confusing to the reader about why the sentence is continuing, at times a comma is placed where a semicolon would be more appropriate.
    * When are semicolons appropriate you may ask? Well, darling reader, if parts of a sentence can be connected by a comma, but also make sense as two separate sentences, _that_ is where I generally see semicolons as appropriate.
    * Another form of punctuation to keep an eye on is apostrophes. If a word is a contraction, use an apostrophe (“don’t” vs “dont”). To show ownership, use an apostrophe (“Ariels story” vs “Ariel’s story”). One major pet peeve of most writers, editors, or general grammar enthusiasts is knowing the differences between its (ownership ‘the monster gave the pencil to its friend), it’s (contraction of ‘it is’), you’re (contraction of ‘you are’), your (ownership ‘your book’), to (direction, ‘going to the mall’), too (if you could say ‘also’, this ‘too’ is appropriate), two (2).
  * By clarity all I mean is _does what you’re writing make sense?_
    * Read what you’ve written out loud—this can help you catch when something is worded strangely. Poetic, flowy language can be fun and helpful to use if you’re describing something, but with dialogue it can come across kind of strangely. People tend to pause in the middle of what they’re saying, and rarely perform extensive monologues in normal, day to day conversation.
    * If possible, get someone else to read your story and ask them if what you’re writing makes sense to them as an outside perspective. If you must explain what a sentence means or talk to the person reading your story about what the heck is going on, consider rephrasing things or adding a few more sentences or words to make your story clearer.



 

That’s about all I have for you wonderful readers, hope what I had to say made sense and that my tips weren’t just a rambling mess. This is by no means a comprehensive guide to editing, nor do I claim to know all there is to know about it, I’m merely attempting to share a few tricks and tips to anyone who wishes to know them!

Last but not least, have some shameless self-promotion. There’s not much to see on my AO3 other than rather…explicit…bookmarks: @Panacea_for_broken_souls. On tumblr I have a conglomeration of stuff I find entertaining, if you’re interested check me out: @jay-wants-to-be-a-paladin.

 

 

 

 


	12. A New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT!

 

  **Inspiration:**

The inspiration for _A New Friend_ is actually really cute; I have a small black cat named Shada who is eleven years old. She is an absolute sweetheart who has been there for most of my life, and she has helped me quite a lot. Her purring can help to ground me, while her endearing presence never fails to make me feel better.

I knew I wanted Virgil to find the black kitten and fall in love with it, then in doing so experience the many things I have run into as a pet owner. First of all, his method of training the kitten ( _Amaya_ ) is a very similar method to what I use. People say you can't train a cat, and that is a lie, actually when I snap my fingers, Shada will stop and look up at me, just like Amaya does in the story. She associates the sound with things she shouldn’t be doing such as jumping up on tables or entering rooms she’s not allowed in.

Now, one of the qualities I gave to Amaya is that she will nibble on people’s ears, and while my cat doesn’t do that, she does try to groom me. Most times when sit down on the couch, she will lie down on the back and try to lick my hair, which is both annoying and endearing. Overall though, Shada is a gentle cat, and I love her, and even though she isn’t a rescue, she has helped me through a lot, and that’s what I wanted Amaya to do for Virgil.

 

** Overall Thoughts On  _A New Friend_ : **

_A New Friend_ holds a bittersweet place in my heart seeing as it was the story I wrote after enduring the horrors of writing _Sleep-Walking._ The reason I say it is bittersweet is due to the fact that I don’t feel like it is one of my better stories; because, I had a hard time forcing myself to sit down and write again. I do like it however; because, it is the story that helped me to rediscover my passion for writing, and helped to remind me why I started writing in the first place.

Over all I think the story is good, though not great; but, it did help me to achieve something that I feared I had lost forever. That being said, _A New Friend_ does hold a special place in my heart, partially because it makes me think of my own cat, and because it helped me to pick writing back up when I was almost certain I never would again.

 

** Writing Tips Based On  _A New Friend_ : **

-I know I have said this in a previous chapter, but I can't stress this enough, especially after what I went through. Whether you are just starting out or you're at  _J.K. Rowling_  or  _J.R.R Tolkien_  levels of experience  **KEEP WRITING!!!**

  * You are going to run into complications and conflicts while writing, but it is important to power through them and keep going. If you do, you will come out of the situation a better author. Some stories won't be up to your expectations, but in the end that is okay, because you can learn from your mistakes and know how to avoid them in the next story you write.



-Listen to Film Scores / Movie Soundtracks while you write.

  * Now, there are many types of music you can listen to when writing, but the best form is instrumental. That being said, you still want something that isn’t going to distract you, and that is what film scores are made for. They play beneath the dialogue and action of a movie without drawing attention to themselves. Overall they make for great background noise and a calming sound to hear while writing, and their mood / feeling can help to inspire you as well. (I will leave a link for the YouTube playlist I use on shuffle.)
  * https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSPyE5xeotfrK9eJxtA6ngfxhItjRTHNN 



** A Funny Story Concerning _A New Friend_ : **

There is a funny story to how I found the name _Amaya_. It is Basque, meaning it originates from both the French and Spanish languages, and it means _Night Rain_. What I never stated in the story however, was that my favorite band _Approaching Nirvana_ has an album called _Cinematic Soundscapes Vol. 2,_ and on that album there is a song called _Amaya’s Tomb_. I had actually fallen in love with the name Amaya after listening to that track, but what I didn’t realize until writing this story is that the continuous mix of the album is called _Night Rain_.

If you find from my previous writing tip that you enjoy film scores, you will love _Cinematic Soundscapes Vol. 1_ and _2_. If you don’t like those however, _Approaching Nirvana_ has plently of albums that are more electronic and still instrumental. As they are my favorite band I am a bit biased, but I highly suggest looking them up!

 

 


	13. Movie Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT!

** Inspiration: **

On multiple occasions in my stories, I had brought up movie nights between the Sides, and finally decided that I wanted to elaborate on that idea. That being said, I knew I wanted this to be a Roman / Virgil-centric story, and Roman would more than likely choose a musical as the movie to watch. I also remember the way the two fought over _Disney_ , and I wanted that to play a role as well, but without making either character out to be the villain.

 

** Overall Thoughts On  _Movie Nights_ : **

_Movie Nights_ is an idea I have seen fanfic writers run with time and time again, but I too wanted to add my own spin on things, and I think that is one of the reasons it wouldn’t rank as one of my favorites. It is a story that has been done before, and due to the fact that I was still recovering from _Sleep-Walking_ , and had another idea in the works, I don’t think this story got the time and care it deserved. Another thing to note is that ironically enough, the movie from the story _Les Mis,_ is one of the few musicals that I have actually never seen. Now, I have listened to the soundtrack countless times and understand the basic plot line, but I haven’t actually _seen_ the movie. Back on topic, I think that _Movie Nights_ is one of those stories that is good, but really I could have done more with it if I hadn’t been suffering from burn-out, and my main focal point at the time hadn’t been elsewhere. (I will elaborate on that in the next chapter.)

 

** Writing Tips Based On  _Movie Nights_ : **

-History is important.

  * This one may seem obvious, but I want to elaborate on it any way. When you are dealing with two characters with a rock past like Roman and Virgil, that history is important. The back story between the two will all but write the story itself, no one gets over conflicts at the drop of a hat; it takes time and effort from all parties. That being said, allow history between characters to be their motivation or to be what holds them back.



-Emotions and how they connect with relationships.

  * Again, this one may seem obvious, but I know from experience that there are certain emotions that I have a difficult time working with, and that difficulty can actually vary depending on which characters you are writing for. I have the hardest time writing any relations with Roman, and that is simply because I do not relate to him much. His personality is so different from my own that I have a hard time writing for him, that’s actually why it took so long for him to get a proper point of view in my stories. Back on topic, I particularly struggle with Roman feeling guilty, because many times in canon, his pride overpowers other emotions; still, when faced with certain situations, he will admit to them. Overall, specific emotions can be difficult to write, but as you learn and grow more confident in your skills, you will find yourself able to better characterize and the emotions will start to feel a bit more natural. 



-Getting back into writing after a hiatus.

  * Obviously this was something I ran into majorly after the completion of _Sleep-Walking_ , and at first I really didn’t know how to continue, or where to go next. That being said, after a hiatus, you may feel that your skills have dulled, or your work isn’t up to the standards that it once was, but just like riding a bike, you never forget how to write. It can be difficult but don’t let it hold you back, the longer you wait, the more daunting the task of writing a new story will become. Some ways to try and ease yourself back into the routine of writing is to try and find a topic or idea that you feel really passionate about, and then find a quiet and calm place to write where you won't be disturbed. You may still look down upon your writings, and that is when I suggest bringing someone else in to read over your story; allow them to look it over, and more than likely you will find that they don’t think the story is as bad as you thought it was. It can be hard to come back after a lengthy hiatus, but in the end it is worth it as you will watch your skills improve, and your ideas begin to blossom before your eyes.




	14. Patreon

I know most people don't do this, but I have been struggling financially due to some physical issues I have been suffering from, so if you could support me, I would greatly appreciate it.

I also do some art requests and animatics, which you can see on my tumblr

@virgil-the-dark-strange-son

and my Youtube: 

 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvv0MwpHwOYlWWMLj8930Kg?


	15. The Pain of Assignment (Rewritten)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT!

** Inspiration: **

            _The Pain of Assignment_ is still by far my most popular (which is why I did a rewrite.)

            Anyway, I have already gone over the inspiration for the original, but the rewrite was an idea that I had had in the back of my mind for quite some time. Due to the fact that I was writing from my emotions in the original, I felt that there was a lot I left out, and the story could be so much more than it originally was, and I will get into more details on that in a bit.

            Something else you all might find to be interesting, _The Pain of Assignment (Rewritten)_ was posted exactly two days after I posted _Movie Nights_ , which isn’t all that important until you stop to think that I don’t upload regularly. I actually made a point for these to stories to come out back to back, _Movie Nights_ was a nice, fluffy, middle of the road kind of story, which I posted to lure you all into a false sense of security so that you wouldn’t be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster of _The Pain of Assignment (Rewritten)_ …I can be devious when I want to be.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _The Pain of Assignment (Rewritten)_ : **

_The Pain of Assignment_ _(Rewritten)_ is a story that I love, partially because it was the main idea that really got me back into writing after _Sleep-Walking_ , and because of the character development I was able to put into it. I took some of my own advice and decided that the story itself deserved more detail, something I was too heartbroken to do with the original. Also, I want to add that all of you were / are amazing with the feedback you have given me on the original and the rewrite!

 

** Details Changed / Added Into _The Pain of Assignment (Rewritten)_ : **

-Different Points of View:

  * One of the things I was most intent upon in the rewrite was to include more than just Virgil’s point of view, which was really all you were given in the original.
  * I also knew that I wanted the ending (which was in Virgil’s point of view) to be in Thomas’s, something I hadn’t actually tried up until that point. I felt it was more impactful that way. He was the one that stood alone after he died, separated from the Sides and his family, so I only felt it right that he be the one to explain how blissful Elysium was.



-Ages:

  * A trait goes through phases that I sort of explain in the story, but here is a rundown of the cheat-sheet I had while writing _The Pain of Assignment (Rewritten)_. 
    * A trait cannot be assigned until the age of twenty-one, and is require to receive AT LEAST six months to grieve for their previous host.
    * Phases: Each phase is longer than the one prior, because as time goes by they grow and mature, but eventually grief takes its toll on any trait who doesn’t achieve Elysium.
    * The Moral Phase: A trait becomes moral on their twenty-first birthday, and remains in the moral phase until they have grieved the loss of THREE hosts. (By this point they will usually be somewhere between the ages of 200 – 500 years old, depending on the era they were born in and the life expectancy of humans during that time.)
    * The Creative Phase: A trait becomes creative after the passing of their THIRD host, and remains in the creative phase until the passing of their EIGHTH host. (The creative phase is usually found in traits between the ages of 500 – 1300 years old, depending on the era they were born in and the life expectancy of humans during that time.)
    * The Logical Phase: A trait becomes logical after the the passing of their EIGHTH host, and remains in the logical phase until the passing of their EIGHTEENTH host. (The logical phase is usually found in traits between the ages of 1300 – 2500 years old, depending on the era they were born in and the life expectancy of humans during that time.)
    * The Negative Phase: A trait becomes negative (now this could be Anxiety, Depression, etc.) after the passing of their EIGHTEENTH host, and remains a negative trait even once they reach Elysium. (The negative phase is usually found in traits between the ages of 1300 – infinity.)
  * Now, you all know about the switch I made with Virgil being the eldest and Patton being the youngest from the original story, but I wanted to elaborate on the phases of a trait’s life.
  * I was actually well into writing the rewrite when I decided that I wanted Thomas to be Patton’s first host, which I feel, gave a whole new look into grief. We see Virgil, who has been through this time and again struggling despite being so acclimatized to grief, which drives home how hard Thomas’s passing must have been on Patton.
  * Shadowed Lifers: This is an idea that I pulled from an Alternate Universe based on _The Pain of Assignment_ that I am working on, but back to the point. I knew I wanted Virgil to be older than the others by a considerable margin, his work as a trait even dating back to the beginning of human civilization. (The others ages I just calculated based on the number of hosts they’d had to be the types of traits they are in the story, but since Virgil was in the final stage, I had a lot more leeway.) Then, as a reference to how he has a rocky past as a good / bad guy, I knew I wanted _Shadowed Lifers_ to have a similar stigma, some thinking them to be a good thing, and others thinking they are cursed. (Also, if this isn’t obvious…ALL _Shadowed Lifers_ are in the Negative Phase.)



-Previous Hosts:

  * Virgil as _Issac Newton_ and Roman as _Edmond Halley_ : Just like I said in the _Telescopes_ chapter, I am an Astronomy and Astrophysics major, so I actually got the idea for this paring from the show _Cosmos_ with Neil DeGrasse Tyson. In episode three: _When Knowledge Conquered Fear_ , it is explained that Halley helped Newton to come out of seclusion, and since Roman would have been a moral trait at the time, (again I got this from a simple calculation) I thought it would be funny to have the two of them not just run into one another, but help one another in the past.
  * Virgil as _Clark Gable_ and Roman as _Max Steiner_ : This one was a happy accident, I had originally intended for Virgil and Roman to run into one another only once in the past, but I knew I wanted Roman to be the creative trait for a film score composer, and the only one who I knew of that fit into that time frame while also having passed away before Thomas was born was Max Steiner. The problem was I had already chosen Clark Gable for Virgil, because he plays _Rhett Butler_ in my mother’s favorite movie _Gone With The Wind_. I didn’t actually find out until I was researching scores that Max Steiner composed, that he actually did the composition for _Gone With The Wind_. Therefore, it was coincidence that they ran into each other again.
  * Logan as _Marie Curie_ : This is one that I am going to have fun talking about. Anyway, as I have already stated in previous chapters, my friend and editor Jay lives with me, and their personality is as similar to Logan’s as mine is to Virgil. Back to the point, when trying to decide who Logan was going to be the logical trait for, I decided to ask them for who they thought would be a good candidate with this question. _“If Logan could have been the logical trait for any famous scientist who passed away before Thomas was born, who would have been his host?”_ They typed into their computer for a moment and looked at me with a deadpan expression, simply saying, _“Marie Curie.”_ I swear, Jay loves throwing me curveballs when I go to them for ideas when writing; however, that did mean I got a chance to elaborate on the outcome when a trait is assigned to a host of the _opposite gender_. (I put that in italics because I believe gender is a spectrum,) but whatever the case, that was fun to run with, so thanks Jay!



-References to My Other Stories:

  * This was something I actually held off on doing for a long time, because I know there are inconsistencies if you look at my stories as a singular timeline, but I knew the emotional impact that callbacks can have. I actually made a point to give a call back to each of my previous stories, and even some that were to come.
  * Callbacks in order of appearance: 
    * The Black Notebook – _Sleep-Walking_
    * A Picture of Amaya / Amaya in Elysium with Virgil – _A New Friend_
    * The Celestron 60EQ Powerseeker – _Telescopes_
    * Patton Tackle-Hugs Virgil – _I Will Physically Fight You!_
    * The Quote: “Son, you once taught me that I could come to you when I needed help…but I think you have forgotten that you can come to me as well.” – _Saddened Patton_
    * The Sides Watching Les Misérables - _Movie Nights_
    * …I know I referenced _Harsh Storm_ and _Answering for Each Other_ somewhere in the story…but I forgot where…oops.
    * The Quote: “and let them treat you the way Deceit did, I don’t think so!” – _Personal History_ (Which at this point was in the works, but had not yet been posted…and I guess it can reference _The Darkness of Deceit_ as well, but I still hate that story…)



-The Symbolic Mark:

  * _“The tattoo that each of them now bore had been done in an array of colors, but was clearly the YouTube symbol with the outline structured like a molecule. Representing Thomas’s sexuality, love for chemistry, and later the talent in which he had shared on the video website.”_ Obviously I explain it in the story, but what I left out is that this is not the only mark these traits bear, they have been assigned to hosts prior to Thomas, and therefore have other marks representing them. I really wanted to elaborate on this one considering how many hosts Virgil had, by my logic, he should have hundreds of these marks, but I came up with a solution for that. In trying to distance himself from the memories of his previous hosts, any that didn’t really stand out were all but forgotten, so the marks faded away.



 

** Writing Tips Based On _The Pain of Assignment (Rewritten)_ : **

\- Expanding on an idea / Returning to an idea.

  * Many times since I started writing, I have thought, _‘I love this idea, but I already did it!’_ I think this is something a lot of authors run into, and I will say this, don’t let that hold you back! You can always go in and add details or points of view that you may have passed over the first time. Also, if you wait between an original and a rewrite, you will also have the chance to see just how much your skills have improved, and how an old story can grow to new heights!



-References to your other material.

  * Like I said before, I had made a point not to reference my other stories, simply because of consistency errors; but, keep in mind that no one looks as harshly at your work as you do, you're your own worst critic. That being said, don’t be afraid to reference your other stories, but a tip I have for doing this is to make it impactful. You don’t need to place a reference just for the sake of having one (you can but you don’t need to.) However, if they are placed correctly, they can touch the hearts of your readers deeply, I often suggest doing this in a story that is as heavy as _The Pain of Assignment_ or if you are writing your last story in a series. (And just to cover my bases, obviously _The Pain of Assignment (Rewritten)_ was NOT my last story, I have posted multiple since then, and still have multiple in the works, so I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.)




	16. Personal History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT!!!  
> ALSO ALL TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THE STORY PERSONAL HISTORY APPLY TO THIS EXPLAINED CHAPTER!!!  
> -Implied / Mentioned Suicide  
> -Violence  
> -Abuse  
> -Blood (Sort of)

** Inspiration: **

_Personal History_ was initially a song that I created which explained some of the back story between Virgil and Deceit. (I will link that and put the lyrics at the end.)  As many of you have probably guessed, I’m not exactly a Deceit sympathizer, if you are, that’s cool too…but you probably didn’t like this chapter too much. Back to the point, I wanted to do another story which revolved around Virgil and Deceit, but take it a bit further than _The Darkness of Deceit_.

 _Personal History_ was also the story where I realized that I was really dragging Vigil through the mud in some cases; that being said, there is a reason there were so many trigger warnings prefacing this story…and those somewhat apply to this explained chapter since I will go into a little detail on why I decided to take the story in the direction that I did.

 

**_ Personal History’s _ Predecessor:  **

_ The suicide trigger warning is necessary for this section. _

I had thought about writing a story with much more sinister undertones for quite some time, but had held back for fear of the backlash I might receive. A LONG time ago I began work on, and nearly finished a story that was going to be titled _Anxiety’s Anxiety_ , it was written after Virgil’s redemption but before the _Fitting In_ video, so as I’ve said in previous chapters…Roman would have been heavily villainized, which is one of many reasons the story hasn’t, and will never see the light of day.

Just so I don’t lose anyone here, I will give a brief synopsis on what the story was about…after the _Accepting Anxiety_ videos, Virgil is skeptical about whether or not the others have truly accepted him. An unfortunate string of events leads to a large falling out between him and Roman which causes Virgil to attempt suicide. (Which he survives by the way.)

Back to the point, you are probably wondering why this is important; well, a lot of the plot points that were going to be in _Anxiety’s Anxiety_ ended up being used in _Personal History_. For example, Virgil being gravely injured and going as Thomas to the hospital, some of the dialogue that was originally between Roman and Virgil was used with Deceit in the earlier part of the story, and Logan stepping in as a paramedic. (That last one was also used in _Harsh Storm._ ) Ironically, the door being kicked open in _Waking Nightmares_ was also drawn from this unpublished story.

 

** Overall Thoughts On _Personal History_ : **

_Personal History_ is a story that I as a writer really liked, but seeing as some of its…darker elements seem to deviate from my normal stories, it wasn’t as well perceived. I don’t know if this is because people generally didn’t like the story or if a large portion of my readers took the warnings to heart and skipped this chapter. If you skipped it due to the trigger warnings, I am in no way blaming you for that…that’s the whole reason the warnings are there. That being said, there has not been any hate towards _Personal History_ ; just what I see as a lack of interest, less comments, votes, kudos, etc.

What happened with this story; was, I was trying to test the waters with how dark I could go before losing readership. (I’ll elaborate on this in the Writing Tips section.)

 

** Explaining Decisions Made for _Personal History:_ **

            -Virgil’s History:

  * I started the story off with Virgil’s past as a way to lay out just why he had such a hatred for Deceit, whether you attribute that to the look given in the canon video, or his hatred in my story _The Imposter_. (This is where the abuse trigger warning comes into play.) Virgil honestly thought that Deceit was his friend because he had nothing else to go on before he met Thomas and the other sides, then as Virgil puts it, _“what he had believed to be camaraderie had actually been a maliciously-composed game of manipulation, and Anxiety had been the puppet.”_ Deceit had manipulated him into believing they were friends when really he was using Virgil as a means to his end.



-Virgil Being Able to Decipher Deceit’s Lies:

  * _“Confusion overcame the [Virgil] after the words were said, because they didn’t match the movement other the other’s lips, that was until he remembered that as a former dark-side, his mind replaced any lies he said with what he really meant.”_ Virgil and the other dark-sides are able to hear what Deceit means rather than what he says…and I’ll be honest, I put this in because I’m lazy. I can't stand trying to switch everything around to be a lie all while still making it impactful on you as my readers…so I used this as an easy out.



-Anxiety versus Fight-or-Flight:

  * The idea that Anxiety is simply a heightened fight-or-flight reflex was actually something that I got from my therapist. He was trying to help me see my own anxiety as something that wasn’t looming over me like a thunderstorm, and he explained that if I could get it under control, it would just be a slightly over-active fight-or-flight reflex, (something that is much easier to manage.) That all being said, I liked the idea of Virgil’s dark-side being _Anxiety_ and his light-side counterpart being a _fight-or-flight reflex_.



-Why Virgil Doesn’t Fight Back Against Deceit:

  * This point is a bit harder to explain, in the story I simply say that he doesn’t want to sink to Deceit’s level, but in my mind there was a lot more to it, but it got cut in final edits. Again the abuse trigger warning takes affect here too, basically in a way, Virgil is still getting over how he was treated by the dark-sides. In some ways he still fears retribution from them (specifically Deceit) but he also know that the more of a reaction that he gave, the worse it would be the next time, so they could see how far they could push him.



-Virgil Almost Getting Killed…Again…:

  * As opposed to _Harsh Storm_ where Virgil becoming injured was an afterthought, his getting stabbed in _Personal History_ was my intention from the very beginning. Again I will elaborate on this in the Writing Tips, but I was testing the waters with how dark I could make a story for you as my lovely readers.



-Roman’s Greif Fueled Anger After Virgil Goes to the Hospital:

  * This was something that I had been wanting to do for quite some time, as a sort of way to make up for how I demonized Roman in some of my earlier chapters. Both he and Virgil have come a long way in their relations to one another, (both in canon and my stories.) I have elaborated immensely on that with Virgil, but I thought that it was high time that I showed just how much Roman cared about him. That’s why he puts his trust in Virgil at the beginning, why he is so quick to defend his enemy-turned-friend when he isn’t there to defend himself, and why he is the one to make the heart-felt gift of the new jacket.



 

** Writing Tips Based On _Personal History_ : **

\- How Far is Too Far:

  * This is a rehash of a tip that I gave back in the _Waking Nightmares_ chapter, but I feel like I needed to reiterate as I think I may have gone too far with _Personal History_. Part of being a good author is knowing your audience, but overtime I have written for so many different fandoms and for my own personal stories, that I sometimes don’t remember how sweet and kind the fanders usually are…and forget I shouldn’t write borderline grimdark material for you all.



-Testing the Waters:

  * This is where I will elaborate on why the story was so dark. As I have said throughout this _Explained_ chapter, I wanted to see how much of a malicious or dark twist I could put into a story before throwing off my readers. I’m used to writing much darker material than what I write for the Sanders Sides Fandom, (an example of this is my story _To Hell and Back_ which I wrote a few years ago for the Yogscast Fandom.) My tip here is to slowly test darker or more serious topics with your readership and see how they respond, if you get a less than satisfactory response, you more than likely need to find either a different audience to appeal to, or maybe change your writings a bit to fit your readership. That is what I did with this story, and I realize that I may have gone a bit too far, and that is why stories I write for you guys in the future will not be as heavy as this story was.



-Trigger Warnings:

  * I feel like this one should go without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway, PLEASE if you are writing something that could trigger someone in any way that you can think of, make sure to preface your story with that. Next, if one of your readers asks you to add a trigger warning to the list, do it without question no matter how insignificant it may seem to you. An example of this in my own life, I will often ask writers that I follow to add trigger warnings for nausea / vomiting, my reason is I have dealt with chronic nausea for over SIX YEARS and reading about such topics can trigger an episode with me, and then I’m miserable for twelve hours. That being said, add trigger warnings, and never ridicule a request for one, even if you don’t understand its significance.



 

** Personal History Song (The song is not as dark as the story): **

Link:

<https://youtu.be/0eCUJBzNkD4>

Lyrics:

How can I bear,

What I have done?

My mistakes,

Festering in my past.

 

Will you please forgive me?

 

I could not believe my eyes,

When it was the other Sides,

Who showed me the light that I could be.

 

‘Cause once in my darkened lair,

Their fears proving that the cared,

I knew I was the cause of all their despair.

 

You corrupted my thoughts to believe,

That they had it out for me,

And now it’s hard to know I caused the pain that they received,

‘Cause nothing is what you said it would be!

 

Now I have a thousand scars,

More numerous than the stars,

Left from the lies you forced me to live.

 

(How could I believed you?)

(How could I have trusted you?)

 

The sadness inside my mind,

Now with remorse intertwined,

From following plans that you designed.

 

You corrupted my thoughts to believe,

That they had no cares for me,

But now I know for certain they see me as family,

Something I’m sure you will never be…

 

I helped you hurt them in the past

(I should have known I’d fall flat)

Following blindly of what you asked

(Why did I dare to do that?)

 

I repeated your words just like a script

(Why did I fail to resist?)

Causing all kind of conflicts

(How many chances were missed?)

 

I soon grew tired of being cruel

(As my anguish only grew)

With no way to escape your rule

(Wishing I’d known what to do.)

 

I’d helped you hurt them in the past,

(I should have known I’d fall flat.)

Following blindly of what you asked,

(Why did I dare do that?)

I repeated your words just like a script,

(Why did I fail to resist?)

I was causing all kind of conflict

(How many chances missed?)

 

And so to my family,

I knew that I had to flee,

Thinking it best that I said farewell.

 

My heart didn’t want to leave,

But for your own wellbeing,

I stepped away to keep you safe from Deceit.

 

I’m sorry I made you believe,

That you meant nothing to me,

But then I had to walk away knowing you would never see,

What it was you all had done for me!

 

Then I could not believe,

When you all came to find me,

That you were all agreeing,

That you saw me as family!

 

That’s when I found my place,

Forgiven by your grace,

That’s when you all came and rescued me…

My family…


	17. Chapter 23: A Halloween Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Alert

** Inspiration: **

Before I get into the inspiration for this story, I should preface with the fact that I know _A Halloween Nightmare_ went up on November 1 st. The reason for this…I was lazy, there is no excuse.

Anyway, I had wanted to write a Halloween chapter for a while, but for the longest time, didn’t know what the focal point of the story would be. Finally, I was actually looking over my stories to write the _Explained_ series, and I got to the chapter _Waking Nightmares_. (So yes, my own story inspired another one of my own stories…)

Back to the point, I remembered that I had created these apparitions which were the physical embodiments of nightmares, and could take hold of someone’s mind if their mental state was weak. It wasn’t until I reread _Waking Nightmares_ for the _Explained_ chapter that I realized the nightmares held a lot of potential, so I decided to use them as the main antagonist for _A Halloween Nightmare_.

 

** Overall Thoughts On  _A Halloween Nightmare_ : **

_A Halloween Nightmare_ isn’t extremely high on the list of my favorite stories that I have written. I’m not disappointed with the way it turned out, but I feel like it was a little rushed since it was one of the few stories I had which sort of had a deadline…even if I technically missed it. Overall, I like the story for what it is and how it explores some of the characters emotions and fears, but seeing as I already have multiple stories based on that, *cough cough* _Sleep-Walking_ *cough cough* it isn’t one of my favorites.

 

 

** A Special Address for _A Halloween Nightmare_ (And Other Stories) _:_ **

            This was something brought to my attention by my editor and best friend Jay…this is the THIRD story in which Virgil is almost killed. Virgil’s near death experiences have almost become a trope in my stories, but it has been brought to my attention that this is a little bit of a problem.

            That being said, as you all know, Virgil is my favorite of the Sanders Sides. Therefore he is the main focal point for a lot of my stories, but there is more to this _‘Virgil almost dying all the time’_ thing. He is a fight-or-flight reflex as I describe him frequently in my stories, and fight-or-flight reflexes usually tend to kick in when you are in a dangerous situation (unless you have anxiety like me and then you’re always in fight-or-flight mode.) Back to the point, since he is the embodiment of this characteristic, I have always seen him as the protector of the group, something I sort of touched on in _The Imposter_ and _Personal History_. I feel like Virgil by nature would put himself in the line of fire to keep the others safe

            Still, I knew that this constant getting hurt trope couldn’t keep going; something tells me that unless I have some super amazing idea for a story that requires Virgil putting his life in danger, this trope probably won’t appear in my stories again. Virgil has been though enough and he needs a break. The other characters though…well, let’s just say; for them, anything goes.

            Another thing I wanted to do was address this problem in the stories themselves since I know that not everyone reads my _Explained_ series. That is why I have Roman snap at him and the two of them get into an argument about Virgil always putting his life on the line. It was a way for me; in universe, to explain that I had been made aware of this trope. That is why I have Virgil specifically say: _“_ _I owe you an apology too…all of you actually. I know sometimes when I put myself into a life or death situation where my life is not my top priority, it can seem like I don’t consider what it would be like for you all if I was gone. I have thought about it, but at the same time I can't stand idly by and watch any of you get hurt when I know that I have the power to stop it.”_

            He addresses that there is a problem, and while he still wants to be their protector, he is also beginning to realize that there are ways he can keep his family safe without putting his own life at risk. (Which you see in the next chapter _Fight, Flight, or Freeze_ )

 

** Writing Tips Based On  _A Halloween Nightmare_ : **

-Revisiting old ideas

  * This is similar to another writing tip I gave _‘References to your other material’_ but it’s not exactly the same. Sometimes such as the nightmares, you aren’t necessarily referencing a story as much as you are tapping into character or plot potential. If you came up with a really good idea in a past story, it is fine to revisit said idea and potentially flesh it out more. For example: figuring out that the nightmares become more powerful around Halloween.
  * This can also help your story to meld together better as it shows a continuation of an idea or the fact that the past can come back to haunt you.



 

-Tropes

  * Tropes are something you can never fully avoid; they are everywhere, some of them you might not even realize are tropes. (Enemies slowly falling in love / Love at first sight / the betrayal of who was believed to be a trusted character.) These are all tropes commonly found in story telling thought the ages whether it be _Shakespeare_ , _Tolkien_ , _Rowling_ , or anyone else.
  * Tropes help to move the plot along, but sometimes you can create your own tropes, and even though they are a good thing, you still need to be aware that they are there. This will give you insight on your own writings and ways to progress your stories.




	18. Chapter 24: Flight, Flight, or Freeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Alert!!!

** A Bit of Background: **

Honestly, this one is going to take a bit of explanation pertaining to my own life, so let’s get right into it. I have said before that I want to work for NASA, but what most people don’t know is that I also want to be a pilot. (No, not for commercial flights; I want to be a private pilot who fly planes such as _Cessnas_ or _Pipers._ ) I also come from a family that is VERY aviation oriented, most of my family members are or have been pilots, worked for an airline or at an airport, or are airplane mechanics. Needless to say, aviation has been a part of my life from a very young age, and I have always enjoyed flying.

Now, I can here you all saying, _‘how does this relate to the story?’_ Simple, one of the first things you are taught in flight-school is what will kill you as a pilot the quickest: panic. Many things can go wrong while flying, and since you are so high above the ground, if you panic, you’re literally going to die. That being said, since I myself want to be a pilot, I have spent a large portion of my life tuning my fight-or-flight reflexes. Rare is the occasion where I freeze up in the face of danger; because, I have taught myself to think on the fly.

Everyone has the reaction to a dangerous situation, where your mind is racing at the speed of light, but most people have a hard time making sense of all those thoughts, which often leads someone to freezing up. A good explanation for this reaction comes from a _Doctor Who_ quote.

_“The faster you thing, the slower time will pass. Concentrate. Assume you’re going to survive. Always assume that. Imagine you’ve already survived. There’s a store room in your mind. Close the door and think.”_

_ -Twelfth Doctor (Season 9 Episode 11: Heaven Sent) _

 

Thinking through a dangerous situation is crucial, but many times you have to do so very quickly and sometimes think and act at the same time. The exact reaction the Doctor is talking about has potentially saved mine, or someone else’s lives on multiple occasions.

 

** Inspiration: **

So, finally onto the actual inspiration for _Fight, Flight, or Freeze_. I wondered, in a world where traits of your personality are embodied physically (specifically a trait for fight-or-flight responses) how would they would they handle a life or death situation? As we have already established, freezing up is not often a good thing, but sometimes people experience a slowing in the passage of time during dangerous situations. That being said, perhaps those traits are freezing the passage of time to prevent freezing up. In the end, my own life experiences were the inspiration for this story.

 

** How _Fight, Flight, or Freeze_ Fits into the Timeline: **

            One thing that is important to note about my stories is that they are One-Shots that eventually (somehow) got fitted into one universe…keep this in mind.

I address this partially in the story itself, but I wanted to put it in here as well. Clearly there have been many…MANY life or death / dangerous situations in my prior stories, so why didn’t this power come up before now?

As Virgil states in the story itself, _“Well…none of us have every really been placed in a position to where I would need to slow time to the point that you would notice until now.”_ […] _“If you look back to the dangerous situations that we have been in, you’ll find that slowing time would have either been pointless, or actually made the outcome worse.”_

As I explained in the story, freezing time wouldn’t have helped any of the prior situations they were in…for example:

 ** _Harsh Storm_** _-_   _“let’s go with the time the support beam fell. Yeah, I could have slowed time to give Thomas more of a chance to react rather than having me knock him across the room, but like I said then, that would have put him out of my line of sight, something that was equally as dangerous. So let’s fast-forward a bit, I had knocked Thomas out of the way, yes I could have slowed time before the beam hit me, but that wouldn’t have done any good, because I’m only slowing the body, not the mind. When time went back to normal I still wouldn’t have had any more of a chance of getting away from that beam than I did without slowing time.”_ […] _“Actually, if I had tried to slow time in that particular situation…it could have been lethal to me.”_

**_ Personal History -  _ ** _“another example is when Deceit stab- injured me. Again I can only slow the body, not the mind, I had already decided what I was going to do, so yet again, slowing time and using up that energy would have lowered my chances for survival.”_

 

Now, some of you actually thought I planned this as far back as _Harsh Storm_ ; which was the first time a really dangerous situation arose in my stories…but that is as far from the truth as it can be. All of my stories have been written and treated like One-Shots, the only story / stories I ever wrote with the intention of a squeal were _Waking Nightmares_ and _Telescopes_ which is clearly stated in _Telescopes_ ’s title. That being said, I never intentionally planned to have all of my dangerous situations before _Fight, Flight, or Freeze_ line up so that freezing time wouldn’t have helped the situations. If I’m being honest…that was just a happy accident, not some master minded plan.

 

** Overall Thoughts On  _Fight, Flight, or Freeze_ : **

_Fight, Flight, or Freeze_ is an interesting story in my mind, as I can't really decide on a placement for it in my list of favorites to least favorites. There was a pretty long hiatus between the chapter prior ( _A Halloween Nightmare_ ) and _Fight, Flight, or Freeze_ ; this is due to me focusing somewhat on my YouTube channel. That being said, this story holds a place in my heart as me returning to my roots and writing again. Overall, I enjoyed exploring the concept that this story was based on, and my love for it could be a little biased seeing as everything seemed to line up perfectly for it as I stated earlier. It’s a good story and I like it, but just like _Movie Nights_ , I feel like it was just a little middle of the road type of story.

 

** Writing Tips Based On  _Fight, Flight, or Freeze_ : **

-Using your own life as inspiration

  * This is similar to another writing tip I gave _‘write issues you may be going though into characters’_ but it’s not exactly the same. Many situations happen in everyday life that make for great stories, and sometimes it can be interesting to explore said events through the eyes of another character(s). Sometimes, if you feel like you are having writer’s block, think back on a story from your own life, and see how you could turn that into a story.



 

-A different point of view

  * It can be good to look at situations, experiences, or ideals from a new perspective, and sometimes twisting them to fit a new idea or plot line. This allows you to think more deeply about what you are writing, and gives you a chance to be more creative in what you write. You can expand your horizons, and in turn help others to think about those same things from a different perspective as well.




End file.
